Tuesday, January 4, 2011
METRO
in the city
i rode the train
with the people
thought ordinary animals
i hope they're gentle
these blank-eyed beings
riding
with me
on the train
if I bothered to notice
I thought they're
silly, smelly, probably
stupid, squalid, steamy
not like me
a thinking being
they won't change things
they'll march dumbly along
to the end --abstain action
aimless, easily herded
they could change the wrongs
and improve their habits
alter society but
lazy
they dumbly ride the train
one day i changed my mind
i saw a girl pull a flute from
her back pack and play to the
applause of the train
i saw an eight year old win a
chess game in three moves
against someone I'd seen
studying many chess books
i saw a thuggy looking fellow
smile at a woman and give her
a book by Rilke
and a deaf girl
exit by signing peace to
all passengers
............................ now
i don't think about people
i try to see them, to feel them
to know each has a gift
even if it's not
.........revealed
........................to me
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Oh I like this.. alot.. a whole lot in fact..you tell a story and tell it well infact..
ReplyDeleteI think I'll hop on your poetry train...
Loved this!!!
Observing people is a lot more fun than seeing them.
ReplyDeleteLike the repetitions that sounds like a train. I liked it especially at the pivot. Not your usual fare, but it went somewhere this ride on the Metro. Gay @beachanny
ReplyDeletesmiles. there is great beauty in that second stanza...i try to see people as well..
ReplyDeleteDeep piece that hits home. I often wondered what each life is like. Humans are supposed to be social creatures, but so many of us remain in our own world...remain isolated in a crowded train. Thanks for reminding me that those people with me, with blank stares on their faces, yearn to say hello...oh but the fear of change makes it hard.
ReplyDeleteI thought i was the only one who enjoys train journeys :) observing people without knowing them or intending to is a quality of a real artist :)
ReplyDeletethat you are.
great piece and thought provoking, i like !
Have you ever thought they might be thinking the same as you? Each of us are The People with thoughts, human failings and talents galore...
ReplyDeleteHere is my one shot:
musical whirlwind
there was alot happening in this...and the word train was great to repeat...some good thoughts here...loved the final stanza about the chess and flute too...cheers pete
ReplyDeleteAgain, nailed the urban vibe. Effective stuff. :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I experienced a complete body wash of goose flesh when I read your final paragraph...
ReplyDeleteWe are so quick to judge and condemn those around us as being less than equal and you have opened our eyes.