i rushed
along the street
i saw her briefly there
she held a sign with some design
hard times
i met
her next downtown
her face marked by a frown
her tattoo had become the sign
hard times
i caught
a taxi bound
uptown my final stretch
what meant this tattood haunting wretch
hard times
she's there
plaza entrance
barring further progress
one last meeting i must address
hard times
in one
movement she came
her arm outstretched the knife
glinted bright with the ache of strife
hard times
You really know how to tell a story, poetry style. excellent...lots of action, imagery, and emotion, well done.
ReplyDeleteLike the form this one took, the visual of the style and the flow that came with. An interesting story - I've gone back, and perhaps I'm trying too hard to attach more meaning to certain images, but nonetheless...good description, interesting recurrence of encounter. A powerful end. Hard times indeed.
ReplyDeletepowerful imagery.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with potluck poetry.
Happy Tuesday!
A+
hard times- beautifully written, stylish! mine's here- http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/head/
ReplyDeleteThe cadence - so light - belied the harshness of the subject matter. I enjoyed this poem very much.
ReplyDeleteMG...
ReplyDeleteYou got it goin on Brother.
Loved your One Shot, great flow..
You need to think about Friday Flash 55, you'd be GREAT at that little writing Bontemps.
nice...you see here everywhere...hard times are hard to escpape these days...
ReplyDeleteGreat rhythm - I read this out loud and the words have a beautiful prosody
ReplyDeleteGlad to have visitors who liked the piece. Seems like for some it's always hard times. Thank you for the comments.
ReplyDeleteA thrill and chill from that one. Hard times, indeed. :) Nicely done, and thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNice flow and interesting read.
ReplyDeleteAnita.
hard luck indeed. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteSo you tell about life.. and you tell it well.. been here, there, everywhere..
ReplyDeletereally good poem..
Poetic Noir - and I like it. Well told, and well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of Hopper,too.
That's not nice! (LOL!)
ReplyDeleteInteresting One Shot!
Intriguing themes, and I like the noir tone of your work.
ReplyDeleteThis went dark piece went full circle
ReplyDeleteexcellent flow accompanied by an excellent write
thanks for sharing with One Shot - a treat
Moondustwriter
Thank you Moondustwriter and the One Stop people for providing this place to share. Much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteexellent imagery and a story told quite well... an interesting, memorable and enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteAward/Treats 4 Poetic Friends of Jingle, Happy Thursday!
ReplyDeletesee you on week 14.
take care.
Excellent, striking pictures you paint here, with a masterful theme-centric refrain.
ReplyDeleteexcellent cinquain stanzas - in fact a 'crown cinquain', no? (There being five). I write them also.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff
Luke @ WordSalad
Good catch there Luke. I liked the tidiness of the set! Not perfectly iambic but close enough.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone else for your comments. Wanted to keep it sharp and try for a thrill.